Fairytale vs Reality
Remember when we 7 and we had life all figured out? I was going to marry my Prince Charming, be a veterinarian, have lots of kids, and live with my Mommy still. (ya I said Mommy, got a problem with that?) What a sweet plan, even as a 35 year old, I’m down. But my reality is 3 kids, married my best friend (not always my Prince Charming lol), own my own business and working on a 2nd currently. My mom… I’d totally live with my mom or have my mom live with us, but I’m pretty sure she has a different opinion with the noise level of my house. (I’m an unapologetic yeller… sorry neighbors)
As kids we had fairytale dreams and visions of what life is or would be. As adults? We have a better handle on reality but we get stuck in repeated unhealthy patterns, afraid to step out of our comfort zone, and/or have no idea where to start to build the life we envision. Kids from the 90s are breaking generational chains in the way we are living. We didn’t learn this stuff from school. Those breaking the chains are getting uncomfortable daily.
My friend recently asked me if I was going to get certified in something we were discussing. I told her I don’t need a certificate because I am already street certified. (Yes I made that up) But listen… Put 2 people in front of me for a particular service… 1 with a piece of paper saying “certified” or 1 who has actual experience… I’m going with experience every time. As a District Manager in hotels, I often hired for personality, prior experience and how it could potentially relate. Many hired for degrees and certifications. It’s just not how I operate.
So we are now adults, and something doesn’t go our way. We are so quick to give up for fear of failing again. Job, business, marriage, life. When did failing become a defining factor of who we are? Failing is a healthy part of development when you learn from the experience. As a kid, how many times did you fail at riding a bike or swimming before you mastered it? You didn’t just hop on 2 wheels and suddenly had long flowy hair glistening in the sunlight like Fabio on a horse. You also didn’t just jump into the deep end of a pool without floaties or your without parent running fully clothed to jump in and save you. You failed, and you kept it moving. Why do adults have a hard time with this concept?
People will come and go, income will come and go, material things will come and go. Chances are, your childhood visions didn’t come to fruition. (Spoiler alert for you young adults). You may have went to school for something completely different than what you are currently doing. Life can change in a flash. The world just got that harsh lesson when Covid hit and continues to linger.
I cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you that I am drawn and have a passion for helping others. As a DM, leading others to their potential. My boutique, helping women feel confident in their bodies. And now, helping others through coaching using my “street certification”. For me, I feel that my faith and re-finding it, is literally drawing me into a passion I’ve had for a while as it has been Gods plan from the beginning. Everyone has their own beliefs so yours may be different, but I am genuinely interested to hear what you are currently doing, and what you want to be doing or are being pulled towards. Email me at revitalizedcoachingbytanya@gmail.com and let me know. I am interested in how many others are in the same boat as me.
OK, so maybe something didn’t go as planned. Failed marriage, didn’t get the job offer, didn’t get the house, etc… Take your moment to be upset/grieve. That step is so important, don’t ignore it. Take note on what failed, (yes I’m talking about on your end since you can only control you and your reactions) then learn and change from that fail. Choose happiness when things don’t go your way. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe you just need to re-shift your focus and priorities. Maybe… your fairytale is the life you are currently living and just need help to see it.